Happy New Year – Let’s make it one to remember!
As each year comes and goes, so do the resolutions. Most of the time the same thing happens; whatever you commit to changing, the enthusiasm wears thin a few months in and you find yourself right back at square one.
If you’ve made a commitment to yourself to change the way people hear you, then you’re likely in for a bitter disappointment.
The problem is not the stammer; there are many successful names of people with the same problem and they don’t let it get in their way.
Do you want to know how they are able to do that?
They put the stammer to the back of their mind, resting safe in the knowledge that stammering is not the problem. It’s far from it.
The real problem is etched in your mind, and it’s the mentality of being judged constantly that holds you stuck in the moment you may be feeling now. It pushes your self-esteem to an all time low, and instead of focusing on improving your life, you begin to pick up little tweaks to make to your speech, like deliberate stammering, switching words, breathing exercises, pausing at blocking points etc.
You get yourself on the magic roundabout, and it just keeps going with no chance of getting off the wheel.
Like a hamster you just keep turning the wheel, draining your energy and you’re always stuck in the same place.
The only way out of that place of unrest is to accept you for who you are. A truly unique individual with your own voice, where the only problem is a lack of courage to get the words from your brain, to your mouth, and into the ears of the people you want to hear you.
Your true and best friends and closest family members are the people you’ll most likely feel most comfortable speaking around. Meeting new people for the first time is a different story altogether. That’s when the stammer creeps up, leaving your mouth open but an awkward silence when you’re afraid of stammering.
Fear can be paralysing, but understanding that it’s that fear you have to conquer is the place to start to conquer a stammer. Even when you think you have it mastered with whatever stammering remediation you use to correct your speech, it’s only going to last 99.9% of the time.
That might sound promising to you now, and something you’d give your right arm for, but in the end, you still have to live with the reminder you have a stammer. There’s no guaranteed cure, and even those who have spoke fluently for years after mastering fluent speech, can experience a relapse.
When that happens, the panic comes back and the words get worse.
Suddenly you can find yourself tossed into a world of chaos and mental anarchy when you realise that you’re headed in a backward direction instead of progressing.
There’s a reason therapy centres tell clients that it is a lifelong commitment to change the way you speak. It takes more than corrective speech techniques. Those are the coping mechanisms that help you improve your speech pattern, but the real deal is when you boost your self-esteem.
When you have the confidence to say what’s on your mind; that’s when you’ll begin to reap the benefits of improved speech.
The best part is that when you focus your attention towards improving your self-esteem, you will gradually find that your speech will improve as a direct result.
When you combine whatever you need to do to enhance your self-esteem with stammering remediation techniques, you can make a significant impact on changing the way you speak.
Change works best from the inside.
Here’s to you in 2015.