You may think you have it bad just now, trying to stammer your way through life. You don’t have it half as bad as what it could be.
Can you imagine when you reach the age of sixty, suddenly realising that you’ve lived your life in so much isolation that you’ve lost contact with all your school friends, old work buddies, long distance family members and that you now only have a handful of people you can truly call your friends?
The rest are memories buried in your “I wish” memorial bank. If only things had turned different.
How many of you reading this have indeed lost contact with friends over the years, just because you’re too afraid to pick up the telephone?
I’d guess there’s quite a few. I know for me, there are people I’d like to be in contact with, but as with life – people go in different directions.
Facetime, Skype, and all those pesky social media networks that give you access to instant live video streams so you can call anyone, anywhere in the world whenever is convenient. How great it’d be to be having the confidence to use them.
You need to develop your confidence
Casting yourself away into the murky shadows of life will never get you anywhere. Well, it will but it’ll be a dark, lonely place that’ll leave you with more regrets than anything.
Build your confidence because without it you’ll continue to struggle.
Probably wind up on Prozac and that’s just to start. Following that, meds are likely to increase your anxiety because while they treat your anxiety, they bring additional side effects. And that’s worse… Much worse!
Pain and shame: Deal with it
Those negative emotions are going to remain at the back of your mind and surface more frequently when you’re living life with regrets. Like feeling the shame, anguish and annoyance because you lack the inner strength to deal with shame and the pain that comes from not feeling normal.
Does anyone know what normal even is?
The simple answer to that is no.
• Anorexics think they’re fat, yet their stick thin
• Obesity sufferers tell themselves they’re just big boned
• Addicts tell themselves they’re in control and can quit when they like
You’re not in denial. You know you have a stammer.
What will you do about it?
• Dream away your troubles
• Tell the dog your woes
• Scream in the faces of your foes
And let those you care about slip away out your life, become a distant memory until you reach the stage in life when you’re filled with regret.
Get off the path of the least resistance
The easiest way to sail through life is to continue doing the same things as you’re used to. You need to challenge yourself if you want to introduce positive change.
Force yourself out of your comfort zone. Pick up the phone, call for a takeaway, a taxi, or to place a telephone order for something in your catalogue that you can afford to buy.
Build your confidence speaking to strangers, and then use that new found courage to get in contact with those you once felt close to. You’ll be glad you did, because once you find the confidence to deal with the frustrations, the worries, anxiety and fear that go with the territory of stammering, you’ll be able to hold conversations with bosses, colleagues and strangers to drive your life in an entirely new direction.
Best of all, you won’t even care when you stammer.
Well, that’s not entirely true but when you build your courage, you’ll most certainly not be sulking in corners crying into your puppy’s ear because the pets the only listening ear you can speak to fluently.
Put your indifferences aside, focus on the positives of your life and live with purpose. One that’s meaningful enough to you that when you do reach a milestone birthday, worthy of a celebratory birthday bash, all the people you wish you had there, are there, because you have the courage in you to reach out to those you once cared about, reconnect and build meaningful relationships with lasting memories.
Don’t live a life of regret!
Stop trying so hard to beat the stammer in you and accept yourself first. Focus on improving your confidence first and then put your courage into finding better coping strategies and studying fluency shaping techniques that’ll help you communicate better and feel better about how you talk when you do.
It’s not going to be easy and that’s how you know you’re doing something right. When you challenge yourself to become a better you and the first step to that is…
Accept yourself with the stammer and you’ll begin to feel more comfortable in any social dialogue.
Image courtesy of i3advantage.com.